19 Comments
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Laury Boone Browning's avatar

That last line resonates long after the essay's over. Thank you, again, Paul.

Ally Hamilton's avatar

Ha! We are on the same page this week (I mean, every week, but…) and that last line is gutting.

CatWoman On Fire's avatar

Great, timely (Hegseth's weird mandate) piece. Love the enthymematic last line (my favorite way to end an essay). I've recently done a ton of research into my mom's "crying wolf" episodes to escape her severe off grid life w/ my stepdad, and I learned some harrowing stuff about historical wartime "malingerers" -- what you call the "broke dick" bunch. Accd. to the NIH: malingering is "the willful deception or significant overstatement of physical or mental symptoms to obtain external incentives."

Anyway, some of the things Civil War soldiers would do is shove turkey hearts up their ass to resemble piles (hemmoroids), or swallowing tobacco to cause nausea and vomiting, putting belladonna in the eyes to dilate pupils and blur vision... and say you say, the doctors would then make the "cure" worse in all sorts of horrid ways.

As for my mom, she feigned illness by secretly dehydrating herself, causing dizziness and falling, resulting in a "pampering" stay in the hospital.

Mary Varner Hutto's avatar

My Civil War ancestor was injured and ran but they caught him eventually and took him back. My husband's Revolutionary War ancestor hid in a hollow tree. He supported the British and was hiding from Patriots. I am sure some poor farmers were made to go to war in the South without even knowing what they were fighting for.

CatWoman On Fire's avatar

What fascinating history in your family! And yes, so many fought in so many wars without knowing the big picture. War propaganda art was also massively persuasive for those who mostly illiterate.

Paul Crenshaw's avatar

Oh wow—have you ever written essays (poems, stories) about this? As a former history major I would be writing the hell out of those stories <3

Mary Varner Hutto's avatar

I actually just found out about his ancestor through some research. My husband was a history major as well. I believe the story of his ancestor is in an old textbook from a county in SC so will try to delve more into it. We both love history. I would definitely like to write about it.

Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Great photo of you at basic training, Paul. And this line pulled everything together for me: "in the masculine world of the military, a man is defined by his dick and the work he does."

Paul Crenshaw's avatar

Thanks so much, Jeannie. I struggled with that line, and still not sure I like it, so thanks for telling me it struck something for you <3

Beth Peyton's avatar

This is a very good one, Paul. A little more testosterone maybe isn’t the solution…

Holly Starley's avatar

We were still saying the ones who didn’t want to fight with a broken ones. Oooof.

I was always, powerful, my friend

Paul Crenshaw's avatar

I think your last line is a phone-typo, but I like it better actually <3

Vince Puzick's avatar

Such a great essay. In 1976-1977, as a college dropout (now known as a “stop out” since I did return to college), I worked with a handful of Vietnam vets in a factory. It’s interesting to consider their broke dick characteristics in a civilian setting.

Paul Crenshaw's avatar

I don’t think broke dick rules apply to Vietnam vets, though, imho <3

Vince Puzick's avatar

I would agree with that, now that you mention it. I just think of my co-worker, Leonard, on the assembly line and all that he carried back with him and, you’re right, it wasn’t broke dick.

Sabrina Sehbai's avatar

Wow - Paul, this essay hit home. I don’t have any military in my family (Canadian, living in Switzerland), but I can relate to this male mentality. The macho energy was all around me growing up. Your last line was so powerful!

Paul Crenshaw's avatar

Canadian, living in Switzerland sounds so peaceful to this American. Appreciate your comment, as always <3

Uncle Pill's avatar

Boot camp and a 4 year hitch in the Navy changed my whole life. Best decision I ever made.

Jerry's avatar

Great post.. I remember a quote that said something like; if you say you aren’t scared, the you are a liar.