I'm so sorry for your loss, Paul. I lost my father to suicide, when he was about my age now, in his mid-fifties. And I feel the dread that can become the background hum of life at this age, telling us that we are of no good use to anyone. It's a liar. All we can do is try to stay close to people, and realize they need us as much as we need them. It's work, but so is anything that matters.
I’m so sorry, Paul. It is really hard, even when you have a safe place to live and people to love who love you back. There’s just so much loss, heartache and confusion baked in no matter how you do it, and sometimes it does feel like too much. And we’ve set up a crazy world where it’s challenging and exhausting just to survive and we all live in boxes and drive around in boxes and stare at boxes and it all makes so many of us feel alone. Add just about anything on top of all that and I guess any of us could have a morning like the one you’re having. I’m sorry about your friend Glenn, he sounds like such a good man. And I’m sending you a lot of love.
I’m so sorry, Paul. A friend died in May (how is it so long ago?) and I still think of him often—how silly and wonderful he was, and how much he suffered toward the end. May Glenn’s memory be a blessing. And may we all find the strength to hang on.
So sorry, Paul, to read about your friend Glenn. A potent reminder that we can't know how other people are really feeling, or assume that they're fine. And sometimes we can't reach them. Thanks for sharing this.
You don’t need words of wisdom as your post is overflowing with words of love and human kindness. Thank you for sharing. When those blue days come, I will remember your words of wisdom: “you’re not alone in feeling alone.”
“Even with everything, sometimes it’s just too hard, and I don’t know why we don’t tell each other our sad stories anymore, or why we don’t remember them when we do.”
This is why I think I write “Crawling Into Life” We never know when our hard story is a doorway or survival guide for someone else.
Thank you Paul for not hiding this sad story—beautifully written with many stories within it.
Sorry for your friend—the good man, I can't imagine—but I can.
The more we know about suicide, the less helpless we feel. There are so many variables, but some universal truths: although more women report symptoms of, and are treated for, depression, more men commit suicide. It is an impulse decision which can be radically reduced with reformed gun control laws in the US. Imo, firearms should not be in the house, but if they are, they should be locked away and unloaded at all times. Mental illness, like any other illness, can be treatment resistant. Stigma and lack of affordable mental healthcare also make treatment more challenging.
I don't have much to say from the perspective of a survivor, ad I've never been on that side, but I have almost been in Glenn's position more times than I care to admit. It's fucking horrible and heart aches for him, as well as all who cared for him.
Thank you, Paul, for your vulnerability in sharing this. May Glenn's spirit be at peace and may those left behind find some comfort in knowing that they, too, are not alone. <3
I’m sorry Paul. Life really is so fucking hard sometimes and I don’t know why we don’t say this more often. You are not alone. And no one is alone with sometimes/often feeling alone.
This post called to me just now, Paul... it immediately hit home, and made me realize I need to write about a friend's recent suicide. I want to share about him. He needs remembering, he needs to be written about. He was a writer, among many other things.. and I will forever be confused and lost as to why he chose to take his life. He told no one. So hard to suss out how and why a friend would choose that route. Thanks for sharing this, and for giving me the impetus to share what I need to share, here on Substack.
This is so beautiful and tender and heart wrenching, Paul. Lifelong friends are special and I am sorry you’ve lost one of yours. And yes, life is a bitch and I don't get why it has to be and to survive it we need the help of our friends.
I recently met three people I didn’t know I needed in my life. We met because I randomly decided to drive an hour to go on a walk with a botanist on the grounds of the Edsel and Eleanor Ford House in Grosse Pointe Shores MI. I had become a member of the Ford House a couple months before, after looking it up on the web, after hearing a comment about it somewhere I can’t recall. At the walk, my first time visiting the Ford House, I met Mary and Keith, married 20 years after twice married before, and their stray cat human Laura who clung to them the way only a beloved cat will. Laura is my age, Mary and Keith are 16 years older. I say all of this because starting that evening one month ago, the three of them have become dear friends and have been literally balms for my soul during some really really hard times. And your piece also prompted me to write about all of this, and that is making me tremble as I type. So, thank you for writing this. Your friend and his life and your life and all the rest have melded to offer a balm to a 63 year old in Ann Arbor who needed this, today.❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, Paul. I lost my father to suicide, when he was about my age now, in his mid-fifties. And I feel the dread that can become the background hum of life at this age, telling us that we are of no good use to anyone. It's a liar. All we can do is try to stay close to people, and realize they need us as much as we need them. It's work, but so is anything that matters.
Well said.
I’m so sorry, Paul. It is really hard, even when you have a safe place to live and people to love who love you back. There’s just so much loss, heartache and confusion baked in no matter how you do it, and sometimes it does feel like too much. And we’ve set up a crazy world where it’s challenging and exhausting just to survive and we all live in boxes and drive around in boxes and stare at boxes and it all makes so many of us feel alone. Add just about anything on top of all that and I guess any of us could have a morning like the one you’re having. I’m sorry about your friend Glenn, he sounds like such a good man. And I’m sending you a lot of love.
Thank you, from my box to yours :-)
I am so sorry for your loss. Life is hard, and it's hard for all of us. We need to talk more about it. We need to feel less alone.
I’m so sorry, Paul. A friend died in May (how is it so long ago?) and I still think of him often—how silly and wonderful he was, and how much he suffered toward the end. May Glenn’s memory be a blessing. And may we all find the strength to hang on.
Thank you for the kind words <3
So sorry, Paul, to read about your friend Glenn. A potent reminder that we can't know how other people are really feeling, or assume that they're fine. And sometimes we can't reach them. Thanks for sharing this.
You don’t need words of wisdom as your post is overflowing with words of love and human kindness. Thank you for sharing. When those blue days come, I will remember your words of wisdom: “you’re not alone in feeling alone.”
“Even with everything, sometimes it’s just too hard, and I don’t know why we don’t tell each other our sad stories anymore, or why we don’t remember them when we do.”
This is why I think I write “Crawling Into Life” We never know when our hard story is a doorway or survival guide for someone else.
Thank you Paul for not hiding this sad story—beautifully written with many stories within it.
Sorry for your friend—the good man, I can't imagine—but I can.
Yes. Thanks for saying something i was feeling but not understanding fully
The more we know about suicide, the less helpless we feel. There are so many variables, but some universal truths: although more women report symptoms of, and are treated for, depression, more men commit suicide. It is an impulse decision which can be radically reduced with reformed gun control laws in the US. Imo, firearms should not be in the house, but if they are, they should be locked away and unloaded at all times. Mental illness, like any other illness, can be treatment resistant. Stigma and lack of affordable mental healthcare also make treatment more challenging.
Feeling you cuz truth experienced also. It’s hard to persuade people who haven’t experienced it.
I don't have much to say from the perspective of a survivor, ad I've never been on that side, but I have almost been in Glenn's position more times than I care to admit. It's fucking horrible and heart aches for him, as well as all who cared for him.
Thank you, Paul, for your vulnerability in sharing this. May Glenn's spirit be at peace and may those left behind find some comfort in knowing that they, too, are not alone. <3
I just brought my big mug of tea to sit alongside you for a while. Here, I see you, putting the radio on for a while..just some music.
I’m sorry Paul. Life really is so fucking hard sometimes and I don’t know why we don’t say this more often. You are not alone. And no one is alone with sometimes/often feeling alone.
Yes.
I'm so sorry for you loss. 🌹
Thank you for this.
This post called to me just now, Paul... it immediately hit home, and made me realize I need to write about a friend's recent suicide. I want to share about him. He needs remembering, he needs to be written about. He was a writer, among many other things.. and I will forever be confused and lost as to why he chose to take his life. He told no one. So hard to suss out how and why a friend would choose that route. Thanks for sharing this, and for giving me the impetus to share what I need to share, here on Substack.
This is so beautiful and tender and heart wrenching, Paul. Lifelong friends are special and I am sorry you’ve lost one of yours. And yes, life is a bitch and I don't get why it has to be and to survive it we need the help of our friends.
I recently met three people I didn’t know I needed in my life. We met because I randomly decided to drive an hour to go on a walk with a botanist on the grounds of the Edsel and Eleanor Ford House in Grosse Pointe Shores MI. I had become a member of the Ford House a couple months before, after looking it up on the web, after hearing a comment about it somewhere I can’t recall. At the walk, my first time visiting the Ford House, I met Mary and Keith, married 20 years after twice married before, and their stray cat human Laura who clung to them the way only a beloved cat will. Laura is my age, Mary and Keith are 16 years older. I say all of this because starting that evening one month ago, the three of them have become dear friends and have been literally balms for my soul during some really really hard times. And your piece also prompted me to write about all of this, and that is making me tremble as I type. So, thank you for writing this. Your friend and his life and your life and all the rest have melded to offer a balm to a 63 year old in Ann Arbor who needed this, today.❤️