For the first 28 years of my life my mother worked at a home for the intellectually and developmentally disabled known locally as “The Hill” or “The Children’s Colony.” Some people still called it “The Sanatorium” because when the first buildings went up in 1910 they housed tuberculosis patients.
Beautiful post. I was friendly with the developmentally disabled kids at my school, and in high school I volunteered at the Special Young Adults. It’s always been an ugly word, with its roots in eugenics, often given a pass by schools because at least it’s not racist. And I’m afraid that Terry’s method is all that works with bullies, that and ridicule (which is working well against the Weirdo and his Toady, which is why they are so desperate to try to flip it back against the people who are FINALLY fighting back after 16 years of his crap.) These men who are afraid to express any emotion except anger are the weird ones, not Gus Walz and his father. And we need to keep saying so until everyone gets it.
Terry’s method is the only thing that works. I had a bully when I was growing up… 8 or 9 or 10 I can’t remember, but I do remember it was winter, I wore a poor kid’s coat and the kid was a teenager at a local drug house. I remember fighting back with a baseball bat I sawed short and drilled with screws.
The rule for bullies that everyone should remember:
1. Decide when you’ve had enough, the sooner the better
2. Hit fast and hit hard (physically, socially, whatever)
3. Keep hitting until the bully can’t get back. Then hit again to make sure.
4. Go back to being kind.
That’s the only formula that works. Appeasement never does. Punishing both parties for fighting sends that absolutely wrong message. “Use your words” is bullshit. Adults in charge need to be in charge, not cower or avoid bullies.
Paul, I never gave the "r" word much thought until my daughter Sarah was born with a rare craniofacial condition. That's when I realized how awful it was.
I never spoke the word even before Sarah came along, and hearing others - especially in middle and high school use it to mean something was undesirable or irritating - made me cringe.
But now I am intentional about calling out those who sling it around without thought, as if it's funny or acceptable just because it's considered slang to some.
Words matter. What we select, and how we opt to speak or write, has incredible power. It's humbling to me as a writer every time I sit down to put thoughts on the screen or paper. It's a responsibility to all of us, I believe, to change the linguistic landscape by modeling kindness in what we deliver through our words.
All that to say, thank you for this thoughtful essay. I am grateful to be sharing this space on Substack with other considerate writers like you.
I had a developmentally disabled sister and I cannot count the number of times I got into a flight with some jerk who called her a retard. I never regretted it.
Beautiful post. I was friendly with the developmentally disabled kids at my school, and in high school I volunteered at the Special Young Adults. It’s always been an ugly word, with its roots in eugenics, often given a pass by schools because at least it’s not racist. And I’m afraid that Terry’s method is all that works with bullies, that and ridicule (which is working well against the Weirdo and his Toady, which is why they are so desperate to try to flip it back against the people who are FINALLY fighting back after 16 years of his crap.) These men who are afraid to express any emotion except anger are the weird ones, not Gus Walz and his father. And we need to keep saying so until everyone gets it.
Terry’s method is the only thing that works. I had a bully when I was growing up… 8 or 9 or 10 I can’t remember, but I do remember it was winter, I wore a poor kid’s coat and the kid was a teenager at a local drug house. I remember fighting back with a baseball bat I sawed short and drilled with screws.
The rule for bullies that everyone should remember:
1. Decide when you’ve had enough, the sooner the better
2. Hit fast and hit hard (physically, socially, whatever)
3. Keep hitting until the bully can’t get back. Then hit again to make sure.
4. Go back to being kind.
That’s the only formula that works. Appeasement never does. Punishing both parties for fighting sends that absolutely wrong message. “Use your words” is bullshit. Adults in charge need to be in charge, not cower or avoid bullies.
Paul, I never gave the "r" word much thought until my daughter Sarah was born with a rare craniofacial condition. That's when I realized how awful it was.
I never spoke the word even before Sarah came along, and hearing others - especially in middle and high school use it to mean something was undesirable or irritating - made me cringe.
But now I am intentional about calling out those who sling it around without thought, as if it's funny or acceptable just because it's considered slang to some.
Words matter. What we select, and how we opt to speak or write, has incredible power. It's humbling to me as a writer every time I sit down to put thoughts on the screen or paper. It's a responsibility to all of us, I believe, to change the linguistic landscape by modeling kindness in what we deliver through our words.
All that to say, thank you for this thoughtful essay. I am grateful to be sharing this space on Substack with other considerate writers like you.
Thank you for the note—I appreciate it <3
I had a developmentally disabled sister and I cannot count the number of times I got into a flight with some jerk who called her a retard. I never regretted it.
Sometimes face-punching is needed.
Yet another beautiful, uplifting and hope-inspiring read. Thanks Paul.
Thank you for reading, and the kind words <3
This is so beautiful, Paul. I write through tears.
Beautiful post Paul.
Thank you Sam. I hope you’re doing well, my friend.
Thank you. I don't what exactly you do with tone, but it's so damn good...I guess it's the Arkansas in your blood...
Very poignant, and unfortunately still prevalent today. Thanks for sharing.
Jesus, Paul. Everything you write leaves me gut-punched. And hopeful. Thank you 🙏🏻
This gutted me. 🥺