A couple of days ago I posted on here that my first book, This One Will Hurt You, was five years old. Then Facebook reminded me later that evening. I had already forgotten again and was thinking about work and bills and everything else, and then I logged on and there were all these pictures from five years ago of people with my book. They were smiling and saying “I can’t wait to read this,” and “MY FRIEND PUBLISHED THIS BOOK!”
Paul, this one resonates. I'm thinking a lot about mortality lately and this makes me think that when I die, I won't be thinking about how many people read my work, but the time I spent creating it. The burrowing through the muck to come out on the other side of creation. Birth and re-birth, again and again.
Tacked over my writing desk is Patanjali’s sutra 1.12: “Yoga [yoking of body, mind, spirit] is achieved by practice without attachment.” I have realized, after a period of rebuilding from the ashes of cancer, that writing is part of my yoga, so all I can do is show up, show up, show up.
Yes, you are very good--you are outstanding--and I know how you feel, and every literary writer has felt the same way. I've been longing for a writing group--I was always the teacher, so I never got to be a part of a group--but the group I've joined is all about agents & marketing & webinars about pitching, & all I want to do is write well. Plus I know pitching literary work is like pitching your head into a brick wall. Yes, of course, I want to be published, because I want to people to read what I've written, but... Paul, you've learned more about writing than any student I've ever taught, & that's not due to me; it is due to your own writing, which is what teaches you. But I am so, so proud of you. I think you've learned more about your own humanity through what you've written. All any teacher ever wants is to teach a student how to teach the self (sorry, I just can't do the politically correct, but grammatically incorrect nongendered plural). I really believe you are the most successful student I've ever taught. It doesn't come down to money or fame, though you are highly respected in the essay community). It comes down to what you learn how to learn from yourself and how you learn to express it. My hat is off to you. Truly. You are one of the very best writers in the US today.
This perfectly describes my journeys. A writing professor told us “you take care of the depth and let God take care of the breadth”. You can substitute universe if you want, but that was great advice. Just joined Substack because I am a writer to my core and this seems a good compromise in the crazy marketing era.
This essay is so relatable. And for what it’s worth from a stranger, I genuinely admire your essay writing. Your Substack is one of my favorites. I’m glad you continue to write despite never being satisfied with your metrics.
It is hard. And wonderful in exactly the way you describe when you're right there in it. And horrible when it feels like the crickets are chirping. I wish there was some way to get rid of that thing that tells me I must have x amount of readers in order for my words to matter. Even a single reader is meaningful. Why do we always need more? Anyway, it's nice to know we all feel this way sometimes.
I did not know you had a new book (I have your first though I don’t know if I posted about it on Facebook). I’d love to buy the new one. What’s the best way to order so that you receive the most profit ?
Thank you for your frankness. I recognize so much of what you say. How and when people read our work is out of our control. All we can do is write and do it as best as we know how.
It is comforting to know that seasoned writers like yourself face the doubts novice writers like myself do; that you ask yourself the same questions I ask myself.
At the same time it’s scary to think that those doubts never go away. I guess the passion for the craft is what will have to sustain me.
When I quit my job and published it on Linked In, I had a lot of messages of encouragement, likes, and love from around the world. I started my substack and my website and thought that I could translate all those messages into support outside my previous job environment. Four months later, I only have a few views on my posts; my substacks are not read so much, and all that enthusiasm from my former colleagues dissipated. I can live with it (and I do it) because I believe madly in my dream and I am stubborn as hell... but as you say, I would like to have more, so the only way to have it will be to engage with new people from all over the world :)
It's very hard. I haven't been on Substack long, but I was able to carry a few people over from the other socials media. Keep writing and engaging anjd you'll find readers :-)
Paul, this one resonates. I'm thinking a lot about mortality lately and this makes me think that when I die, I won't be thinking about how many people read my work, but the time I spent creating it. The burrowing through the muck to come out on the other side of creation. Birth and re-birth, again and again.
Tacked over my writing desk is Patanjali’s sutra 1.12: “Yoga [yoking of body, mind, spirit] is achieved by practice without attachment.” I have realized, after a period of rebuilding from the ashes of cancer, that writing is part of my yoga, so all I can do is show up, show up, show up.
I had cancer surgery in September. I have had similar realizations <3
Yes, you are very good--you are outstanding--and I know how you feel, and every literary writer has felt the same way. I've been longing for a writing group--I was always the teacher, so I never got to be a part of a group--but the group I've joined is all about agents & marketing & webinars about pitching, & all I want to do is write well. Plus I know pitching literary work is like pitching your head into a brick wall. Yes, of course, I want to be published, because I want to people to read what I've written, but... Paul, you've learned more about writing than any student I've ever taught, & that's not due to me; it is due to your own writing, which is what teaches you. But I am so, so proud of you. I think you've learned more about your own humanity through what you've written. All any teacher ever wants is to teach a student how to teach the self (sorry, I just can't do the politically correct, but grammatically incorrect nongendered plural). I really believe you are the most successful student I've ever taught. It doesn't come down to money or fame, though you are highly respected in the essay community). It comes down to what you learn how to learn from yourself and how you learn to express it. My hat is off to you. Truly. You are one of the very best writers in the US today.
Thank you, Lee. Really. That is beautiful, and I'm deeply touched.
This perfectly describes my journeys. A writing professor told us “you take care of the depth and let God take care of the breadth”. You can substitute universe if you want, but that was great advice. Just joined Substack because I am a writer to my core and this seems a good compromise in the crazy marketing era.
This essay is so relatable. And for what it’s worth from a stranger, I genuinely admire your essay writing. Your Substack is one of my favorites. I’m glad you continue to write despite never being satisfied with your metrics.
Thank you for reading, and the kind words <3
It is hard. And wonderful in exactly the way you describe when you're right there in it. And horrible when it feels like the crickets are chirping. I wish there was some way to get rid of that thing that tells me I must have x amount of readers in order for my words to matter. Even a single reader is meaningful. Why do we always need more? Anyway, it's nice to know we all feel this way sometimes.
You can count my "like" as 10 "likes" if you want to.
Ditto for me
I did not know you had a new book (I have your first though I don’t know if I posted about it on Facebook). I’d love to buy the new one. What’s the best way to order so that you receive the most profit ?
I always direct people to the publisher: https://ohiostatepress.org/books/titles/9780814258828.html
And thank you so much <3
Ordered !
Thank you for your frankness. I recognize so much of what you say. How and when people read our work is out of our control. All we can do is write and do it as best as we know how.
Thank you for that honesty.
It is comforting to know that seasoned writers like yourself face the doubts novice writers like myself do; that you ask yourself the same questions I ask myself.
At the same time it’s scary to think that those doubts never go away. I guess the passion for the craft is what will have to sustain me.
When I quit my job and published it on Linked In, I had a lot of messages of encouragement, likes, and love from around the world. I started my substack and my website and thought that I could translate all those messages into support outside my previous job environment. Four months later, I only have a few views on my posts; my substacks are not read so much, and all that enthusiasm from my former colleagues dissipated. I can live with it (and I do it) because I believe madly in my dream and I am stubborn as hell... but as you say, I would like to have more, so the only way to have it will be to engage with new people from all over the world :)
It's very hard. I haven't been on Substack long, but I was able to carry a few people over from the other socials media. Keep writing and engaging anjd you'll find readers :-)
I'm so excited to read your book, Paul! Thanks for writing this.
Thank you for reading <3